The Joys of Being Sick

So here I am day 4 of not feeling well. Oh Joy, Oh Bliss!!! But life does go on as they say... Mind you I have not been able to rest at all, I've had kids every day. Running, Stomping, yelling, screaming all sounds that are great to a head that already aches.

On top of being sick, I'm also losing my voice. And it makes me wonder; "hmmm is someone trying to tell me to stop and take it easy" but how do you do that, with no replacement, its not like I can call in sick and be replaced by someone else. If I call in sick, i'm affecting tons of other people. But I do need to take a break one of these days. But right now I just want to sit back and cry, because I'm feeling like I'm doing all I can for other people, and I don't have any time for me.... The closest thing to doing something for me that I'm doing is not really relaxing at all. It's working out at the gym (which I can't do right now because I'm sick and as weak as a kitten).....

I'm not meaning to moan and complain here, usually things are more upbeat for me. Just everyone has a bad day once and awhile don't they????

Daily Smiles and joyous noise...

When running a daycare you kinda forget the joys that you can experience. The Daily smiles that you get when the children are happy in your care, when they are excited about doing something or when they are just snuggling in and are perfectly content. You also tend to get aggravated by the noise levels, but when you sit back and really think about it. These kids are making noise, because they are having fun... Thinking of it in that way, makes the noise levels a little less annoying and you sit back and smile.

Right now my older boys are playing hairy potter. (making paper brooms and wands and pipecleaner glasses, and taping on fake scars above their eyes) while the girls are entertaining the toddlers with a makeshift musical band.. Its fabulous... It's making me wonder why in the world I'm sitting on this computer typing these paragraphs and not joining in the fun. On that note I'm going to go and make some joyous noise with the kids that make my day complete :)

One word: Housework

Why is it, that no matter how much work you put into cleaning up a house, it always gets dirty, sometimes faster than you clean. It sometimes takes all you have to get up enough motivation to clean it, then when you wake up the next morning and think "I have to clean again?" its a little depressing. Someone should really invent a clean up button. You just press it and poof its done.

All complaining aside, I do like taking care of the house, and taking pride in how it looks. Hey its because we own this house that I'm able to run my daycare. So I should really take care of it.... Don't ya think... So with that said, I have to go clean... But before I do that I have to make a bigger mess, because me and the boys are making bread.... Homemade, not in a bread maker... :)

Life Continues

So I'm sitting here, watching the children play and realizing that they have the right view on life. They live for the moment, they don't dwell, they don't worry, they just make the most of life. We can learn a lot from children and that is probably why I love them soooo much...

I decided that I'm going to try my best not let the world get me down. Heck, I'm supposed to be planning the most important and happiest day of my life right? My head should be filled with decor, and table settings and color schemes and songs for the day.... So I'm going to take a page from the book that is children and live for the moment. I'm not going to dwell on the past it just isn't worth it in the long run. This world would be such a better place if we followed a saying that I once saw. "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere" That is going to be my motto for the time being. So off I go to do something with my life beside worrying... My wonderful man will be sooooo happy.

Life still goes on.

It's funny how when crappy things happen. you expect that the world will slow down and allow you to cope. Nope!!! Not happening. But you however do eventually have to step up your pace to get back on track with this ever moving world..

I guess that this is in fact a good thing, because it doesn't allow you to wallow in self pity.. Although the fact that your mind wants you to does not help your stress levels. It's tough, but we all know that eventually we will get there.

I mean look at my life, even with all the crap that happened over the last 2 weeks.... I still have to plan a wedding, while running my daycare, keeping house, making sure my mom doesn't fall apart at the seams. all while trying to keep my sanity. I'm gradually getting there, although at times I had to remind myself, just like that ever famous Little Engine "I think I can! I think I can!"

Like I said; Life still goes on.. You just have to do it one step at a time and reconfigure the steps you may have taken before.

Lifes Craziness

Its frustrating how when you think you have everything figured out and your life is finally on track, something happens that derails you. And even if it is only for a moment the ripple effects are similar to the aftershocks after an earth quake....

Point in question the double whammy that happened to me recently... Everything was going great, my journey of weightloss was going strong (working out & Eating really healthy) then BAM the bombs start falling.... Your Grandmother is in Palliative care and in the blink of an eye your mother needs a double lung transplant oh and in the next blink of an eye your grandmother dies.... How many things should you be expected to take in, in a matter of a few days. Like Holy Crap Batman.

So of course screw the healthy eating and no time for the gym and Hello to 10lbs that you thought were gone for good... Do you see where I'm getting here. And then of course these things don't just go away. No now there is planning for the future and what to do for my mom, dealing with her anxiety, dealing with my future mother in law who decides at the most innoportune moment to give me a lecture about my responsibilities.... No wonder stress levels go through the roof and Depression sets in....

I'm just not sure when it is going to end or even let up... How do I handle all this stuff, I'm not a strong person... I know that I need to rely on God, to help me through this. The Psalms tell us "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" That path is looking pretty curvy right now. Oh well enough of my ranting for now.. Sleep! Glorious Sleep! Tomorrow will come soon enough. I just need to shut my eyes and dream my dreams and take a break from the nightmare that is my reality right now...